I was terrified to go to Grad School. Scared shitless. Undergrad was scary but bearable, because age (young) and perspective, of course. But when you’re getting older, parents are not kicking out textbook money, and you are already paying loans from undergrad with your shitty part time job? Grad school was a different type of fear. I didn’t know where the coins were going to come from but I knew I was going back to school for another two years.
I knew I had to go back for a few reasons. One, I needed to work on my craft. Two, I needed to network. That’s really it. Being an introvert, networking meant coming out of my shell. Being an introvert, meant I would actually have to show people my work. So, grad school right, with all the fear and what if’s, was really the best decision I made. Sure, I may be in debt after (well not ‘may’, I will be lol) but who isn’t? Debt? That’s all of America basically. That’s the perspective I went with. It was either be in debt but get my foot into my career or be in lesser debt and literally keep working part time jobs and hearing my family tell me go work in an office (that’s another post). I knew that I wanted to be better writer, I wanted to learn the ins and outs of being a serious writer and working in the world as such. Blogs are cool but I didn’t want to simply be a blogger. I wanted to work. I wanted to really write and interview creatives; I wanted to inspire someone like writers inspired me. I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was in the 6th grade, but I kept doing everything but following my dream, yet, here we are.
The first few weeks of my first semester, I was overwhelmed, stressed, and questioning if this was the right choice. All of that led to hormonal acne and lots of anxiety still, push through. As time progressed, I met a lot of new people, a lot of them in my major, and I had been challenged in designing and writing. Midway through the semester, I was confident in my decision to come back.
I learned about taking risks, removing fear, and being ambitious. If you want something, there’s probably 20 people who want it more than you, what makes you special? Even though this was my first semester and I have three more to go, I can honestly say, grad school is hard work yes, but it really comes down to time management and how much you want this degree. If you manage your time and workload properly, maybe the anxiety and stress will subside. If you know having a degree is necessary to doing what you want, then you have to want it more than anybody else does. Money is on the line. Career is on the line. Grad school was a good step for me because it challenged me and sparked a different kind of fire in me. I was unsure what was the next step in life overall, but now, I actually feel like I’m going in the right direction. This semester was good, the school is good, the professors actually care, I mean… this was not as bad as I thought. If you have dreams, go after them, chase them down, and make them come true. It sounds cliché but you won’t get to see it come to life if all you do is dream about it.